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You made me do it

By popular request I’m going to post some poetry. Of my own.

While painfully aware that one person asking isn’t the full, honest definition of popular, it is one more than enough to flatter this non-poet into poetry. And being honest, I have already used the “Look how messed up I was as a teenager cause I wrote such atrocious verse” excuse to hide a seldom expressed poetic voice behind. Now there’s no where left to hide.

I had the nerve to suggest a minor rewrite to a poetically more prolific friend recently, so what exactly would my excuse be for a failure of poetic nerve? That I make a better critic?

It’s Monday Poetry Train day today. Let’s grin and bare it for a little exposure…

Untitled and in progress

I am the drop of glistening rain,
puddle formed by side of road,
I am the car driving straight ahead,
beneath skies clouded and grey.

That is my sky,
as good as any other.

I walk under that sky,
along that road,
and beneath this rain
as happy as anywhere else,
as happy as any other.

It’s a few verses short of completion, a few ideas short of expression, and true lyricism was lost somewhere around the second line—the entire first verse has been rewritten off the page. But I’m feeling so much better for the saying…

On the topic of messed up teenagers, I made an initial attempt at tidying this one up, a several thousand word story about my own formative years, posted (with embarrassing photos) for all to see on another site: Miracles out of Mountains out of Molehills. It will also do as my response to Camille’s now ancient Conversations With Your Teenage Self Meme. Better late than never.

10 Comments

  • alf
    Posted July 23, 2007 11:37 pm 0Likes

    I like the rhythm and simplicity.

  • rhian
    Posted July 23, 2007 11:57 pm 0Likes

    I liked this John – i thought these words are the heart of the poem:
    “That is my sky,
    as good as any other.”

  • Camille
    Posted July 24, 2007 1:49 am 0Likes

    Re: Miriacles out of Mountains out of Molehills

    A beautiful pledge to the benefits of meditation John. I saw and felt clearly your experience of becoming an adult. A wonderful achievement.

    Re: Untitled and in progress

    The simplicity of poetry always pleases me. This poem says ‘I walk, I am’ to me… the basis for life is existence and movement. Good work in my opinion.

  • Joy Renee
    Posted July 24, 2007 1:01 am 0Likes

    love the haunting imagery.

  • julia
    Posted July 24, 2007 2:55 am 0Likes

    That Rhian – always pointing out the same lines that I like…
    “That is my sky,
    as good as any other.”
    Very nice! Glad you posted.

  • Susan Helene Gottfried
    Posted July 24, 2007 3:42 am 0Likes

    This is really lovely, John. I hope as it grows and changes, you’ll share it again so we can see how it matured.

  • Jaitra Gillespie
    Posted July 24, 2007 6:08 am 0Likes

    Gosh—you’re all so nice!

    Helpful also—I’m new to this poetry thing. Thanks for the encouragement Alf, Rhian, Joy, Camille, Julia and Susan.

    I believe I have some poetry to read myself now in return.

  • Tejvan - net writing
    Posted July 24, 2007 7:18 am 0Likes

    Hi John,

    did you ever fix the a issue, after migration?

    http://www.bloggingtips.com/2007/07/20/fixing-the-a-and-ae-problem-in-wordpress/

    I don’t think this comment is related to poetry, sorry.

  • Lisa Andel
    Posted July 24, 2007 8:35 am 0Likes

    If you mean by lyricism: stylistic language that says one thing and means another. Then I say, so what? To me, these lines are just as lyrical:
    as happy as anywhere else,
    as happy as any other.

    simple words that make a strong statement. I like it.

  • Jaitra Gillespie
    Posted July 24, 2007 8:43 am 0Likes

    Thanks Lisa. I stand corrected of my lyrical ways.

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